Goodbye Darjeeling - Is This My Life Yet?

I’m as lonely as I can
I’m as lonely as I ever will be
I’m as lonely as I can
I’m as lonely as I ever will be and
I’m as lonely as I can
I’m as lonely as I ever will be
I’m as lonely as I can
I’m as lonely as I ever will be
I am

Keep on circling around an absent center
And struggle to tell the Sun from a black hole
Everyone’s a bad parent
You can’t avoid all the countless ways
To mess up a soul
Especially if you’re an idiot
Your appreciation
Your tenderness
Your attention makes me bloom
And the lack of it
The lack of it builds, builds, builds, builds distance

I’m as lonely as I can
I’m as lonely as I ever will be
I’m as lonely as I can
I’m as lonely as I ever will be and
I’m as lonely as I can
I’m as lonely as I ever will be
I’m as lonely as I can
I’m as lonely as I ever will be
I am

I wasn’t always feeling this way
My kindergarten popular days
Maybe it’s nobody’s fault

And I’ve turned out much better than you thought
From a socially awkward teen
I’ve become better than I’ve ever been
And now that the birds are flying over my head
Their freedom makes me forget the words that I’ve said
Sometimes I’m calmed by a solitary talk
But anxiety can swoop in like a hawk
Superficial people sayin’ “I understand”
Grown to be stronger than both of my dads
Why would I be defined by the pain that I get?
Is this my life yet?

I’m as lonely as I can
I’m as lonely as I ever will be
I’m as lonely as I can
I’m as lonely as I ever will be and
I’m as lonely as I can
I’m as lonely as I ever will be
I’m as lonely as I can
I’m as lonely as I ever will be

I used to be a blank canvas
That others have painted on
Am I still just the canvas
Or the picture, too?
Or the picture, too?